Last month, I wrote the 9,156th internal memo for my employer about the coronavirus. A leader asked me to change “preparing for our next normal” to “preparing for our new future.” Next normal is already overused and what is normal anyway, he said. He was so right, and it got me thinking about that common word.
Like me, you may have a long history with “normal.” I grew up with an alcoholic parent in a dysfunctional family system. So, as a child and young person, I felt my family’s normal was not normal at all, compared to the seemingly perfect lives of my peers. In other ways, I struggled to understand what normal even is. (Recommended reading: An Adult Child’s Guide to What’s ‘Normal’ by John Friehl)
Since I started this healing journey, I realized that many people shared my normal so, in fact, I’VE BEEN NORMAL ALL ALONG!
Normal is just what whatever is familiar to us and it doesn’t really exist as a standard anything. Its meaning varies by person.
But everyone is using the word to describe life before this pandemic came along and destroyed lives, killed people, and flipped everything that could be flipped.
When we’re wrinkled old people, we’ll tell the young-ins about how life was forever different after this wild pandemic experience. It is changing the way and where we work, learn, get care, shop, socialize…the list goes on.
The odds are high that if you’re on JodyLamb.com, you’re the kind of person who has been thinking about the short and long-term future and how your life is going to be or feel different when the pandemic wanes.
If you’re an adult child of an alcoholic like me, you probably crave predictability and to know exactly how things are going to be different. Gimme all the details, universe!
You may be envisioning how your day-to-day life will evolve so that you can prepare. But the reality is that this situation is like nothing we’ve had in modern history and everyone who needs to figure things out is still figuring things out.
With much unknown and uncertain, we all must be flexible and tame the what ifs and worry. You gotta challenge what the future holds and try to keep your head up to the sky. You gotta be bold and wiser. All I know is love will save the day. Okay, yes, I’m quoting that ‘90s Des’ree song You Gotta Be. I played it on repeat in high school before my cross-country meets and I still love it.
Four ways to get ready for your new, post COVID-19 future
1. Build healthy habits and keep them as if your life depends on them.
The pandemic likely dramatically disrupted your daily habits. You may be planning to act on your health goals when all this craziness settles down. But this is a dangerous slope. Whatever your habits are – eating healthily, exercising, seeing a therapist, etc., – you should start now.
It’s going to be a long time before anything feels familiar and this pandemic is mightily unpredictable. It’ll be way easier to make sure these healthy habits live on when more change arrives if they’re already well embedded into your life.
As the brilliant James Clear said, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” Read James’ “Atomic Habits,” if you have not already. It’s gold.
It is not easy to build a system of self-care habits if you are caring for other people but it’s critical. You’ll be no good to anyone if you get sick or become an old, cranky person full of regrets about your life.
2. Create new pastimes and hobbies.
A new language. Virtual therapy. Blogging (Check out my Free guide: How to start a blog). Home-improvement projects. New pets. Adult child of an alcoholic (ACoA) healing journeys. It is so amazing to hear about all the cool, new things people are doing during the pandemic time!
Your pastimes may have to be different due to major changes that affect those activities or your own wishes may have changed. Take the time now to find new pastimes.
Side note: On a recent conference call, someone asked the group what new things we’ve picked up since the stay-at-home orders went into effect. I was quiet as my colleagues listed all the impressive things they’ve been doing. Someone learned American Sign Language. Another has been cooking gourmet meals. Another renovated a basement. Another is learning how to play guitar. Literally, the only thing new I’ve done since March is wear sweat or yoga pants every day for about 90 consecutive days because I’ve been working so much. Yeesh. 😊 Must start something new.
3. Learn new ways of managing stress.
There are a lot of stressors these days, you know, with a global health crisis at hand and all. It is a great time to prioritize reading, meditation, yoga, exercise, or whatever activity helps you manage stress.
I’m currently working from home in health care communication, so I’ve worked some 16-hour days on my couch. In the very worrisome early days of this terrible time, I had no time to pay attention to my body and realize how stressed I really was. Since then, I’ve been adding many new good habits and paying attention to stress triggers. The following tactics have helped me reduced the impact of stress on my well-being:
- Limit news consumption to 30 minutes per day
- Watch comedy shows and videos because laughter is like medicine for my soul, you guys
- A few 10-minute breaks during the workday
- Listening to music. This really helps me. I realized that if I am on deadline for something that is complicated and otherwise stress inducing, that it is best that I listen to jazz or old time-y stuff like Ella Fitzgerald because I analyze the lyrics of my usual rock and alternative rock too much and it breaks my focus, and there’s something about that old time-y stuff that calms me.
4. Take this time to be unprecedented about your own life.
“Unprecedented” is another word used a zillion times per day right now. It’s true – everything about the pandemic is new and scary – and somehow, we’re making our way through it.
It is challenging us to do everything in new ways and to be courageous and creative. There is no choice but to find a way to get the thing done that needs to get done and so we do!
With this new mindset and things being far more figure-out-able than we ever thought they could be, maybe this is exactly the right time for you to make changes in your life, be bolder and bravely take chances.
Perhaps this unprecedented time will go in down in your own personal history as the time you finally started living and taking good care of you.
What would you add to this list? Please let me know in the comments.
Wishing you good health and wellness in mind, body and spirit.
