Here is a list of great books for adult children of alcoholics (ACoAs). They tackle the topics of PTSD, childhood trauma, co-dependency and other issues caused from our childhood and adolescent experiences in a dysfunctional, chaotic and abusive home environment with an alcoholic mom or dad – or both. As the daughter of an alcoholic, I have read as many books for adult children of alcoholics as I can find. These are the books that I found most influential in my healing journey in understanding what happened to my family and how to heal and create the life I want!  These are the 13 books you need to read if you were raised by alcoholics. Updated 1/23/2021.

The best books for adult children of alcoholics

If you are currently coping with an alcoholic parent or other loved ones and hoping to help them get treatment, I recommend the following books focused on intervention:

1. Love First: A Family’s Guide to Intervention 

This book by Jeff Jay and Debra Jay  is among the most effective guides for families with an alcoholic or addicted loved one. Read Love First: A Family’s Guide to Intervention before you call an addiction intervention specialist or attempt to plan an intervention on your own. I read it when I was completely desperate about my mother’s need for treatment and it shed light on my best next step.

2. Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening

This book by Robert Meyers and Brenda Wolfe provides a solid introduction to CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training), an approach to help family members of alcoholics and other addicted people. It has helped thousands of people. While research is limited on this approach so far, this books gives examples of the CRAFT approach that may help you.

Books you need to read if you were raised by alcoholics

3. 7 Things That Change Everything

I wrote this book for fellow adult children of alcoholics who are getting started on their healing journey. It’s available for download here.

If you’re an adult child of an alcoholic, this modern guide is specifically crafted for you. I share practical tactics and eye-opening realizations that will empower you to create the life you truly deserve. No more settling for less!

So, why wait? Take the leap and download “7 Things That Change Everything” for free now. Get ready to embark on a path toward personal freedom and fulfillment. It’s time to rewrite your story and create a life you love.

4. The ACoA Trauma Syndrome: The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Relationships

If you’re going to read one ACoA book, make it this one.  I recently read The ACoA Trauma Syndrome by Dr. Tian Dayton and I wish I’d read it years ago. Until this book, I did not really understand that what I experienced with my alcoholic mother when I was a kid and as a young adult was TRAUMA. My whole life, I literally thought the word trauma was reserved for people who survived terrible car accidents or soldiers who saw bloodshed in combat zones. This book gives the science behind what happens to the brain and the body as children when we are in stressful, scary and painful emotional states. Seriously, I felt a hell of a lot more normal after reading this book. I behave and think exactly normally as one would who grows up in this kind of traumatic environment. ACoA Trauma Syndrome is a very real thing. I’ve got it and so do millions of others around the world. In addition to the science that shocked me, this book includes several chapters about how to heal from this trauma (Love this – “Reclaiming the Disowned Self.”) Lots of meaningful recommendations in this one that I’ve used in my healing journey.

5. Adult Children of Alcoholics

Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz describes the common challenges experienced by adult children of alcoholics. This was one of the first CoA books I read; I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh, yes, that’s me! She’s practically in my head!” After reading it, I felt a lot less alone in my struggles and a lot more hopeful that I could heal from all of this heavy stuff. It may help you learn how to recognize opportunities for healing.

6. After the Tears: Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood Trauma

This one by Jane Middleton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell also identifies common CoA issues and lists steps adult children of alcoholics can take to break free from these challenges and create an awesome grownup life.

7. Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own

This is another great codependency-focused book. By Karen Casey, Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own, highlights codependent thinking and behaviors. Seriously, you may not think you’re codependent until you read this book. I read it and had several aha moments. It helped me more clearly see my unhealthy thinking and behavior. I didn’t even realize I was doing half of it! Though I still have to remind myself to detach from situations frequently, I credit this book as being among the first books to get me detaching and becoming healthier.

8. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Melody Beattie changed the world back in the 1980s when she penned this first book about codependency. Today, the term “codependent” is now widely understood. Since I just searched Giphy and found relevant gif results for the keyword “codependent,” safe to say it’s now mainstream. Children of alcoholics are SUPER inclined to have codependent behavior as adults. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself will help you change how you react and behave so that you can be free to create a better adult life.

9. ‘It Will Never Happen to Me!’ Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters – Adolescents – Adults

Claudia Black is among the most respected and pioneering authors on the ACoA topics. This one is an iconic, must-read book for adult children of alcoholics. Even more than the other books I’ve already mentioned, this book felt like it was written for me. That’s how common CoA issues really are; this one opened my eyes and my heart to the fact that I have the power to heal from my experiences with an alcoholic mother.

10. Playing It by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What

Another Melody Beattie book, this one is focused on self care. Self care and self love are struggles for ACoAs, I found this book to be helpful in crafting a plan to learn and be dedicated to self care.

11. Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics

I remember spotting this one at a bookstore and reading the first chapter right there in the self-improvement aisle. The mother-daughter relationship is a complex and important one. As the daughter of an alcoholic, I know well the pain that comes with having a mother with alcoholism. This book by Robert Ackerman walks through the common unresolved issues that affect female ACoAs in their adult lives. Relationships, saying no, taking on too much, parenting issues, etc. – the list goes on. Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics will help you identify next steps in your healing journey.

12. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon and Courage to Change-One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II: Part 1

All of the books published by Al-Anon Family Groups could use a little updating but like the in-person meetings, these little books were helpful for me early on in my ACoA healing journey. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon and Courage to Change-One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II: Part 1 share daily reflections. Okay, so, some of the reflections are waaay better than others but I found several sparked good thoughts for my healing journey.

13. The big red book: Adult Children of Alcoholics 

This is probably one of the most referenced books on the topic, as it breaks down the The Adult Children of Alcoholics Laundry List. Created by the Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families World Service Organization, this book is about three inches thick! It will give you a solid overview of ACoA traits. Lots of oh-my-gosh-that’s-me moments with this one; it includes practical advice for healing.

14. Lisa Frederiksen’s If You Loved Me, You’d Stop. 

Lisa’s BreakingTheCycles.com blog is another great resources to understand the science of addiction.

Extremely inspiring memoirs by adult children of alcoholics

Some of the most extraordinary people are children of alcoholics

• Canadian Olympian Leah Pells is one of them. Her book, Not About the Medal, is one of the most moving autobiographical stories I’ve read on the power of hope and resilience – and being the daughter of an alcoholic mother.

• Actress and model Brooke Shields’ memoir, There Was A Little Girl: The Real Story of My Mother and Me, feels like it is the story of MY mother and me. It’s my new favorite and now one of must-read recommendations when I speak with adult children of alcoholics. I purchased the audiobook version; Brooke’s reading was stellar.

Take good care of yourself and keep on learning!

Add to this list

What books would you add to the list? Please share the knowledge in the comments below.

Book recommendations for kids of alcoholics

You may also be interested in my list of the best books for children of alcoholics.