What exactly are boundaries? I view boundaries as guidelines for how you structure your life to take good care of yourself.
I’m an adult child of an alcoholic. Addiction runs deep in my family. I have long been the family martyr. For more than 26 years of my life, I did not take good care of me because I did not understand the importance of setting boundaries. Since beginning my ACoA healing journey, I’ve learned there are three foundational ways to set effective boundaries with alcoholics and others.
1. Acknowledge and accept that your only job in life is to take good care of you.
That’s it. You are responsible for your safety and health. This is not easy for most of us who have spent our lives caring for everyone but ourselves. But recognizing and living by this fact will guide your decision making.
2. Recognizing that what is right for you and your well-being may feel wrong.
For me, it has felt very wrong every time I set boundaries in support of taking good care of me.
3. Consistently keep your boundaries in place.
Personal examples in this video:
Setting boundaries helps clear the fog. When you have boundaries in place, you can think more clearly and make decisions that propel the good life for you.
I hope you are well.
Jody Lamb is an author, blogger and adult child of an alcoholic on a journey to create an awesome grownup life. Visit JodyLamb.com. Twitter and Instagram: @JodyMLamb. YouTube: /JodyLamb. Facebook.com/JodyLambAuthor.
Hello. My stepdaughter has just gone through detox and will be working on a 12 step program at a facility. Her alcoholism was just discovered when she went to the hospital last week. It was a shock to everyone. I have journeyed down this road with another family member’s alcoholism and another’s drug addiction, though it has been > 25 years since that. Do you have any advice how to be supportive to my stepdaughter, my husband and the rest of the family while at the same time setting some healthy boundaries and not reverting to co-dependent mode? Thank you!!!
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