As an adult child of an alcoholic, have you ever felt like it was your responsibility to save your alcoholic parent, or that your parent’s alcoholism was becoming the center of your life? If so, it is highly like you are suffering from codependency, a harmful relationship dynamic that is common between adult children of alcoholics and their parents. Fortunately, there are many books and other resources that can help you understand how to stop being codependent and create the healthy relationships you’ve always wanted.
What is Codependency?
Codependency, sometimes referred to as “relationship addiction,” occurs when one person in a relationship has an unhealthy reliance on the other for their self-esteem and fulfilling their emotional needs. In a codependent relationship, it’s also common for one person to enable the other person’s unhealthy behavior.
Codependency occurs often in relationships between children of alcoholics and their parents. As a child of an alcoholic, you may feel that your parent’s alcoholism is your responsibility to fix. If you find yourself arranging everything in your life around your alcoholic parent, struggling to create healthy boundaries, and feeling consumed and exhausted from trying to save your parent from their addiction, you are probably experiencing codependency, and it’s important to seek help before the situation worsens, or even becomes abusive.
Best Books on Codependency Recovery
Healing from a codependent relationship can be difficult, but luckily there are resources that can help. Here’s a look at some of the best books for codependency and overcoming it:
Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own
One of the most important parts of healing from a codependent relationship is simply realizing that you are in one. In her book, “Codependence and the Power of Detachment,” Karen Casey highlights unhealthy behaviors and thought patterns that are characteristic of a codependent relationship. She then walks the reader through learning to detach from the harmful relationship and replacing it with emotionally healthy patterns instead. If you think you might be in a codependent relationship, this book is a must-read.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Before Melody Beattie published this book in the 1980s, codependency was a foreign concept to most people in the world. This book has been pivotal in helping educate the public about codependency and how it works. Beattie also discusses how common it is for children of alcoholics to grow into adults who struggle with codependency, and offers hope and guidance for moving past it.
Find Healing Today
While healing a codependent relationship can be difficult, it’s not impossible. As an adult child of an alcoholic, the best thing you can do for your alcoholic parent is encourage and support them to get help, while also remembering to set healthy boundaries and take care of your needs, too. Relying on helpful resources such as books, therapy and support groups can help you and your loved one overcome codependency and create the healthy relationship you’ve always wanted.
Resources
7 things that change everything, my free guide for adult children of alcoholics
