As an adult child of an alcoholic, knowing how to help your alcoholic parent can be difficult. The balance between avoiding pushing them away and giving them the encouragement they need to seek help, all while respecting your own boundaries can be challenging to navigate. Fortunately, there are resources that can give you the guidance and direction you need to best support your loved one struggling with alcoholism, one of which is the CRAFT method.

What is the CRAFT Method?

The CRAFT approach, or Community Reinforcement and Family Training, is a program designed to help family members support loved ones who are struggling with an addiction. The CRAFT method works by using positive reinforcement to encourage your loved one to embrace healthy habits and develop important skills to help them progress on their journey towards overcoming addiction.

One of the benefits of the CRAFT method is that it’s not only designed to help with addiction; the skills, habits and coping strategies taught will help both the alcoholic and their family members become healthier and happier in all aspects of life.

CRAFT is the way of intervening with love. Substance use disorders cause so much chaos and pain that it is difficult for everyone around that person to think positively about the person. I remember during one Al-Anon meeting, a mother described her adult daughter’s behavior with such fury in her voice that I pictured every interaction between the two of them being explosive. Someone asked the mother, “What is your daughter’s greatest quality?” She paused, smiled and shared stories about how kind her daughter is, and that she’d give her last dime if someone needed it. Then someone asked, “When was the last time you recounted those stories and told your daughter how proud you are of this quality?” Her stunned face made it clear she’d likely never shared that sentiment with her directly.

CRAFT helps you lead with love when your person’s disease has driven you to feel more anger, hurt, resentment and disappointment than you can handle.

How Does the CRAFT Method Work?

My favorite book on the CRAFT topic is Love First: A Family Guide to Intervention. I read it when I was completely desperate about my mother’s need for treatment and it shed light on my best next step. Shout out to the awesome authors/intervention experts, Jeff and Debra Jay.

Here are some of the tactics that the CRAFT method uses:

• Improving communication: Encouraging healthy communication can foster trust and healing with someone who is struggling with an addiction.  
• Recognizing triggers: Recognizing circumstances when an alcoholic is more likely to drink (such as certain times of day, specific social situations or emotional states) can help them avoid situations when they’ll be most vulnerable.
• Encourage self-care: An important part of the CRAFT method is encouraging your loved one to dedicate time for self-care. Resting, recharging and caring for themselves will give them the energy they need to continue on their recovery journey.
• Allow consequences: Avoid positive reinforcement when your loved one is drinking alcohol and allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.
• Look for emotional barriers: Think about what could be contributing to your loved one’s drinking habit. Is there something in their life that is causing them pain or difficulty? Work with them to address those things and allow them to experience the benefits of addressing those things.
• Work with a therapist: A skilled therapist can provide direction, encourage healthy thought processes and help your loved one find healing.
• Be patient: Overcoming an addiction is often a long and difficult road, so it’s important to continue to be patient in your efforts to support your loved one.

How Can the CRAFT Method Help Adult Children of Alcoholics?

Knowing how to help an alcoholic parent can be difficult without the right direction. Fortunately, the CRAFT method provides a useful framework to help an adult child of an alcoholic support their alcoholic parent, guide them towards healing and strengthen the relationship between them.

Although the CRAFT method is helpful for most people, it’s important to remember that every situation is different. In most cases, the CRAFT method requires considerable time to be effective. If you find the CRAFT method is not the right fit for your loved one, keep in mind that there are other resources available that can help your family. Remember, the most important part of helping your loved one is to be patient, encouraging and to never lose hope for them.

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