If you grew up with an alcoholic parent like I did, you might end up in grownup land believing one big lie: you’re responsible for taking care of your alcoholic mom or dad. You might have slipped into the role of caretaker early on. You might have found yourself caring for your siblings or even your alcoholic parent.
You may think it’s your job to take care of them – but let me tell you, it isn’t. You’re not responsible for fixing your parent’s substance use disorder or making them happy; your parents have to take care of themselves. The truth is your only job in life is to take good care of you. That’s it. The earlier you realize this fact, the better, but it’s never too late.
Understanding the Role Reversal in Alcoholic Families
If you were raised in an alcoholic family, it is likely that at some point, the roles of parent and child were reversed. This happens when children assume responsibilities that typically belong to parents. I took on the role of parent for my mother when I was about seven years old. It was around that time when I began cleaning up the messes (figurately and literally!) that resulted from her drinking.
Research shows such reversed roles can lead to long-term emotional stress and hinder personal growth. Your focus should be on ensuring your own health, safety, happiness and working toward creating the life you want.
Steps to Take for Healing
Sound all too familiar to you? Here are the steps that helped me heal as the child of an alcoholic and a create the life I love:
Shift Your Focus to Self-Care
We often forget the vital role self-care plays in our lives. For adult children of alcoholics, this becomes even more crucial.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for your well-being. But shifting focus from taking care of an alcoholic parent to prioritizing yourself might feel unnatural at first. Studies show that practicing self-care can improve mental health and reduce stress levels. It’s time you allow yourself to make sure your wellbeing is where it should be!
Set Boundaries with Your Alcoholic Parents
You may often feel guilt and obligation, believing we must take care of our parents who have a substance use disorder. Boundaries are what set us free.
Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re safeguards for your well-being. Think about what makes you uncomfortable or stressed, then establish limits around those areas. It could be refusing to lend money or not answering late-night calls.
Remember, setting boundaries isn’t cruel – it’s an act of self-care. If this seems overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Remember: You have every right to prioritize your happiness and peace over everything else.
Embrace Professional Help and Support
It’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it can be the most courageous thing you do as an adult child of an alcoholic parent. Seeking professional guidance can be a great way to make progress on your journey, as those who have gone before you are often well-equipped to provide support.
You deserve a life full of joy, love, and peace – so let’s start building that today by reaching out for the professional help and support available.
Build a Life You Deserve
You deserve to experience the life you’ve always wanted. It’s not selfish or unreasonable; it’s your birthright. Yet, growing up with an alcoholic parent can often make us forget this truth.
We get so tangled in taking care of others that we neglect our own needs and desires. But remember, it’s essential for your well-being to prioritize yourself.
Detaching from the role of caregiver isn’t easy but necessary for personal growth. This is about reclaiming control over your life and steering it toward joy and fulfillment.
Resilience and Hope for Adult Children of Alcoholics
If you’re an adult child of an alcoholic, remember this: resilience is your birthright. You’ve navigated choppy waters before, and just like a ship that’s weathered storm after storm, you’ve emerged stronger each time.
Your journey might be challenging, but it also brims with hope. Your yesterdays don’t have to shape your tomorrow. Braving it with endurance and tenacity, you can make a life of bliss and contentment – one where breaking the cycle isn’t just doable; it’s likely.
This road won’t always be easy—no worthwhile journey ever is—but rest assured that every step forward moves you closer to the vibrant life that awaits. Hold onto hope. It’s one of your most potent allies in the healing journey!
Key Takeaways
You’ve journeyed far, friend. Role reversal in alcoholic families can be a heavy burden to bear.
Adult children of alcoholics are not responsible for their parents. Focusing on self-care is essential – it’s not selfish; it’s survival!
Setting boundaries with your alcoholic parent may seem daunting but believe me, it’ll set you free.
If needed, don’t hesitate to seek professional help or join support groups. They are there for people like us – use them!
Last but certainly not least: build the life YOU deserve! You’re stronger than what happened in your past and brighter days await ahead.
