For people who grew up with an alcoholic parent, healing from their past experiences is a complex journey that requires unlearning certain beliefs and behaviors. Here are 17 beliefs I had to unlearn to heal from my experience as the daughter of an alcoholic and create a life I love:
- I am responsible for my alcoholic mother’s behavior.
- My mother drinks because of me.
- I am not good enough because if I were, my mother wouldn’t drink.
- Curing my mother of her alcoholism is all on me.
- I have to be perfect to receive unconditional love.
- Expressing my feelings is a bad thing.
- Boundaries are selfish.
- It’s my job to take care of everyone.
- I have to be self-sufficient and not ask for help.
- Satisfaction will always be out of reach.
- I have to be ready for the next disaster.
- Everyone is depending on me to fix everything, and I cannot let them down.
- I’m trapped dealing with the effects of my mother’s alcoholism for life.
- I am not allowed to have fun and enjoy life.
- Healthy romantic relationships are impossible for me; I have too many issues.
- I have to hide how I really feel.
- I’ll never have a life I love.
These 17 beliefs had a tight grip on me for the first 26 years of my life. When I started my healing journey, I’d hit rock bottom. I went looking for help only because I was desperate and had lost all hope. Through hard work, dedication, education, therapy, support groups and self-care, I’ve come so far in my healing journey and now enjoy a life I love.
Unlearning these beliefs and behaviors is not easy, but it is possible. I am living proof! 14 years ago, I couldn’t have imagined feeling as healthy and free as I do today. Reprogramming your mind to unlearn these deep beliefs you’ve had your whole life takes a lot of effort but it is so more than worth it. With hard work and the right support and resources, adult children of alcoholics can heal and create a life filled with love, joy and fulfillment.
What beliefs did you have to unlearn to move forward? What beliefs are you struggling with today? Let me know in the comments.
Wishing you serenity.
