As Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoAs), it’s common to struggle with complicated feelings and emotions because of difficult past experiences. Therapy can be a powerful tool in helping you process these emotions, find healing and move forward with your life. A therapist can guide you as you work through unresolved trauma and provide a safe space for you to explore difficult feelings.
To receive the best care possible, it’s important to find a therapist who connects and resonates with you. Not all therapists will be a good fit for you, and that’s okay. It may take a few or more sessions with therapists to figure out if they are going to be your therapist match. If you’re wondering how to find the right therapist to help you heal from your struggles as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, here are some helpful tips:
Look at Past Experience
When searching for a therapist, it’s helpful to look for one who has experience with AcoA Syndrome or addiction. Therapists who have helped clients through similar situations in the past often have the context, insights and understanding to guide you on your healing journey. However, keep in mind that just because someone has experience providing therapy for Adult Children of Alcoholics doesn’t guarantee they’re going to be the right fit but they are more likely to understand what you’re going through.
When I first began looking for a therapist when I started my healing journey, I was disappointed when the first therapist I met was disconnected and disengaged in our conversation. I picked her because she had ACoA Syndrome and dysfunctional families listed as specialties, but she didn’t ask anything that reflected that expertise. Fortunately, I didn’t let that deter me. I picked another therapist who turned out to be the most effective therapist I ever had, and he helped me clearly see the next steps in my healing journey. He was both the son of an alcoholic father and an alcoholic in recovery himself. He understood my struggles right away because like me, he’d lived the ACoA life, and that made all his questions and insights highly valuable.
Don’t Judge by Credentials
When choosing a therapist, remember not to judge solely based on credentials. Therapists come from many unique backgrounds, and many have arrived at their career from non-traditional paths. For example, therapists can come in the form of traditional psychologists, psychiatrists, life coaches and social workers, to name a few. Remember, just because a therapist has an advanced degree doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be a good fit, and vice versa; sometimes the best therapists come from unique backgrounds.
Be Choosy
Your therapist will play a major role in your healing journey–so don’t be afraid to keep looking until you find the right one. Not every therapist will be the right fit, and that is to be expected. Many people attend several appointments with a new therapist before deciding to work with them long term. When deciding whether a therapist is right for you, pay attention to how you feel during the appointment. Look for a therapist who resonates with you, makes you feel validated, and creates a safe space for you to be vulnerable as you work through complicated emotions.
Also, remember, you can choose the format that feels best for you. Sessions can be in person, by video or by phone. I’ve been meeting with my therapist over the phone for the last year, and to my initial surprise, I think I’m a little more open with her than I’d been with past therapists I met in person.
Have an Open Mind
Keep in mind that to find healing, you’ll probably need to step outside of your comfort zone. Your therapist will likely ask you to do things that are unfamiliar or that you don’t believe will be helpful. However, it’s important to keep an open mind and remember that your therapist is there to help you. Be willing to try reading new books, listening to podcasts and journaling, even if it’s difficult. Healing from trauma takes hard work, and sometimes the things that help the most are not what you expect.
Start Your Healing Journey Today
Choosing to begin therapy is an important step on your healing journey. As you find the right therapist and keep an open mind, you’ll find hope, understanding and the tools you need to process your past experiences.
