So you grew up with an alcoholic mom or dad—or both. Now you’re an adult with a list of issues caused by your experiences growing up in that environment. You’ve probably asked yourself some big questions: How do I heal from growing up this way? Where do I even begin to figure out what I need to do to move forward?
Well, my friend, I have three key tips to help you heal so you can create the life you love.
As an adult child of an alcoholic mother, I asked myself those questions countless times. I had no idea what I was doing when I began my healing journey. But I knew there are many happy people who were once miserable like me, and they all had to start somewhere. I knew I’d be overwhelmed and quit if I tried to take on too much too quickly, so I started doing what seemed fun and unintimidating. For example, I stopped agreeing to take on more assignments at work that kept me at the office late. I picked up new activities that sounded like fun, such as a creative writing course. I went on long walks. That led to more self-care and more fun activities. I also jumped into learning by reading a little bit at a time. I went to the library and checked out books about addiction and its effects on families. This led me to finding a therapist. Before long, I was navigating my healing journey! It gave me a sense of freedom I’d never felt before.
The perks of healing from being an adult child of an alcoholic
There’s nothing easy about diving feet first into healing from the effects of growing up with an alcoholic parent. Some people will never do it. It’s easier to block out the past and hold in the pain. But the longer all those memories and issues stay buried, the longer you’re trapped, never getting to live the life you love! “I only hope that we don’t lose sight of one thing – that it was all started by a mouse,” Walt Disney said. Just start. One of the main perks of healing from being an adult child of an alcoholic is that once you start, you’ll build momentum and soon you’ll be well on your healing journey! Then the best part happens: Hope and determination will arrive in heaps, and you’ll fully believe the life you want is within reach.
How to start your healing journey
The first step is recognizing that your parent’s drinking deeply affected you. Only then are you free to unpack the issues and pain you’ve spent your whole life burying deep down inside. The best way to know how to start your healing journey is to just start.
Back in 2009, I was at my lowest point. Dread blanketed me when I woke in the morning. I was completely wrapped up in the worsening chaos of my mother’s drinking and obsessed with getting her to stop. The future felt hopeless. My life was a never-ending series of obligations with nothing left for me to enjoy.
I knew I couldn’t go on living this way. I desperately admitted I had lost control of my life and needed a complete reboot to get control of my destiny. I had no idea where to begin and there was barely anything helpful on the internet. All I knew was that I wanted to have fun.
I started doing things I loved to do as a child. I enrolled in a creative writing course at my local community college. The creative writing course completely changed everything. I made friends with other writers who encouraged me to keep going with my writing. I started watching comedies and standup shows. I started walking for fitness. I felt freer than I had in so many years!
Once I started doing these fun activities, I had enough hope to take on what I knew would be less fun but necessary: after years of avoiding it, I decided to attend an Al-Anon meeting. Al-Anon is a support group for family and friends of alcoholics. The Al-Anon meeting was the start of my healing journey and diving deep into the effects of growing up in the chaos of my mother’s addiction.
Start somewhere, even if you only have 15 minutes per day. When you decide you want to heal and make a commitment to seeing it through, you’ll be amazed at how much more time and energy you discover out of nowhere.
How to create your healing journey path
Learning how to take good care of yourself shines a spotlight on what your next step should be. When I first began my healing journey, I wanted a playbook from other people who had successfully healed. Unfortunately, playbooks don’t exist because everyone has their own unique journey!
My best advice on how to create your healing journey is to just start having fun, while admitting to yourself that your life isn’t what it should be because you’re still stuck hanging onto the issues stemming from your parent’s addiction. Once you start learning from other people who’ve healed, or surrounding yourself with people, things and places that bring you peace and inspire you, you will see what steps you need to take next.
Remember that life and healing are a journey. This isn’t a get-fixed-quickly process. Put in the work and continue to put in the work. I started this journey for myself in 2009. I know that I will be at this for the rest of my life. Just when I think that I figured everything out, I realize there is so much I still must learn! But the incredible progress you’ll make on your journey is what will propel you to move forward. I hardly recognize the woman I was at 26 years old, gripped by depression. Back then, I couldn’t have fathomed my life being what it is today. I felt I had a life sentence for feeling the way that I did, trapped in the hell of having a parent with addiction. I was very ill and didn’t know it.
How to successfully heal from the effects of your alcoholic parent
If I could go back in time and give advice to 26-year-old me, the first thing I’d say is buckle up for this lifelong ride. There is nothing easy about it, but it’s more than worth it. To successfully heal from the effects of your alcoholic parent, you must commit to continuous learning and growth. Personal growth means you must continue reading the books, following the inspiring people on social media and continuously reminding yourself of what you’ve learned.
Keep going even when you want to quit. Keep going if you feel that you’ve learned everything you need to learn. Keep going even if you feel that everything is all better. Life is unpredictable, and you never know when it will throw you for a loop and you’ll be back to your old ways and back to feeling stuck.
That’s it: my best tips for healing from growing up with an alcoholic parent. This is my sure-fire way to create the foundation to successfully heal from your experiences and create the life you love.
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