Are you among the millions of adult children of alcoholics in the world who has realized that your past experiences are affecting your life today? Developing new habits is key to your recovery and creating the life you want. Not sure how to get started? About 12 years ago, I was in that exact spot. Fortunately, there are many resources. Plus, millions of adult children of alcoholics (ACoA) have healed and shared their stories to help others to do the same. By learning and listening, I’ve been successful in my recovery and creating the life that I want. If you’re getting started with yours, you should know about the three key habits of healed adult children of alcoholics. The faster you pick up and stay committed to these habits, the faster success you’ll have in your healing journey.

Here are the three habits of healed adult children of alcoholics:

Habit #1: Begin with belief that you’ll heal.

Have you ever thought, “I have so many issues because of everything that happened when I was a kid. I’m destined to live with this baggage because I was dealt these bad cards in life.” This is a self-sabotaging mindset.

Healed ACoAs began their healing journey will firm belief that they could heal from the effects of their parent’s substance use disorder and teach themselves new ways of thinking and living to create the lives they want. Have this positive, outcome-based mindset as you begin working on healing. Pick up all the books and content you can consume; these valuable educational resources will help you accomplish your goals. Whatever you believe becomes reality. You WILL heal if you believe you will – just like millions of other ACoAs have, too.

Habit #2: Prioritize yourself.

If you’re like me and most adult children of alcoholics, you likely never developed this key habit, due to the environment. It took me nearly 30 years to discover that I only had one job in life: to take good care of myself. I did not know how to do it because I’d spent my whole life prioritizing everyone else and trying to solve problems that were not mine to solve. The powerful, terrible codependency gripped me. 

Healed ACoAs know that taking good care of themselves begins with prioritizing themselves and they truly living by this fact. It’s their guide for decision making – from minor, everyday decisions to the major stuff. Before they agree to do anything, they ask themselves, “Is this good for me? Is this someone else’s responsibility?” This helps ACoAs become master boundary setters.

Habit #3: Never stop learning.

You may be eager for the feeling that you’re fully healed but the reality is that healing from the powerful effects of a dysfunctional environment and the ACoA Syndrome is a life-long effort. Over time, you will make so much progress that you will hardly recognize your former ways of thinking and living. The more you heal and grow, the more you realize how much there is to learn and that there is always opportunity to grow in new ways.

Healed adult children of alcoholics know how important it is to keep learning and growing, even when they’ve reached important milestones in their journey. They keep reading, going to therapy, attending Al-Anon meetings, going to therapy and stay committed to other personal growth activities.  If you stop giving time to education, you can easily slip back into your old, destructive ways of thinking, behaving, and living. Stay committed to growth.

There you go. Now you know the three habits of healed adult children of alcoholics. Remember that there are millions of ACoAs who experienced extremely tough times and were deeply affected by their parent’s addiction. They decided to break the cycle and create the life they want. They put in the effort and made it happen. You will, too.