What were you doing in 2009? For me, 2009 was a year of painful but needed change. It was the year I discovered the power of writing as a tool to help me heal and start my journey of creating the life I want.
Before then, if someone had suggested that writing would help me, I would have cited lack of time and exclaimed, I’m supposed to be moving forward! Thinking about – let alone writing about – the effects of my mother’s alcoholism on me would have seemed like the very last thing I should do.
But that year, in complete desperation and fear of what might happen if I did not do something to get help for myself, I began my healing journey. To my shock, writing became a critical part of my healing – and without it, I’m not sure where my life would be today.
If you’ve dismissed writing for healing in the past, I am writing this article for you. Please hear me out because I believe strongly that there’s power in writing that could really help you!
5 types of writing that could change your life and help you heal and create the life you want
1. Journal.
Grab a pen and notebook. Write as little as a sentence every day. You don’t need to spend more than a minute or two to journal. Jot down what upset you, what made you laugh, what inspired you, what hurt you, what you’re grateful for, etc. Then, every few weeks, go back and read all of your notes. The words may help you discover where healing is required, and what you need to do to make little or major changes in your life. Just write. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling. Sometimes, caveman-ish writing is all that you may have time or energy for, and that is fine. The key is to just get your feelings and thoughts on paper. Words provide visuals that could lead to life-changing realizations and actions.
2. Blog.
Around that pivotal 2009, I looked online for blogs written by fellow adult children of alcoholics (ACoA) but found very few. After reading the clinical ACoA books and discovering that millions of people shared a variation of my story, I was confused about why the ACoA topic was still such a secret. I was inspired by the stories shared by strangers in Al-Anon meetings (Al-Anon is a support group for people affected by loved ones’ addiction) and began blogging about my ACoA learnings and healing journey to pay it forward. Today, there are many bloggers sharing their experiences growing up in alcoholic or other dysfunctional environments – and it’s a very good thing!
If you’ve ever considered blogging, I highly recommend you invest some time making it happen! Like other types of writing, you may find healing in sharing your story. Write about what you’ve looked for online but cannot find or find too little of. There’s something special about your experiences and perspectives. Share it.
Check out my free, comprehensive How to Start a Blog guide.
Maybe you’re worried that starting a blog is too time consuming or overwhelming, and you’ve marked it as a maybe-someday thing. Well, I want you to pull blogging off the shelf and make it happen! I bet you have great things to share. You’ll enjoy the process, inspire other people and maybe even make some money!
3. Write fictional stories.
As I began my healing journey, I enrolled in a creative writing class at my local community college. It felt like a good thing to do because I’d loved writing as a little girl but had stopped doing it when I was a teenager. It was exactly what I needed as I learned how to take better care of myself.
Out quickly came a story of a 12-year-old girl named Easter Ann with an alcoholic mother. It began as a single homework assignment but when our instructor asked me to read the story aloud, several classmates said they connected with the character and encouraged me to keep writing because they’d never read any books about parental alcoholism and would have been helped by that when they were young. So, I continued with the story inspired by my own experiences as a girl. It was shockingly cathartic. I never thought that reliving some of those painful memories from childhood would bring about any good, but it did. Before long, I had an entire book manuscript. It was exactly the book that I wish I’d read as a girl to understand addiction, that my mother’s drinking had nothing to do with me and to realize that I was very far from alone in my struggles. Writing that book, I felt more hopeful and more like the grownup I hoped to become because writing made me realize just how much my mother’s addiction had affected me. I needed to recognize all of that – as painful as it was – so that I could see the opportunity I had to heal and finally move forward with creating the life that little-kid me had dreamed of so many years ago. In 2012, Easter Ann Peters’ Operation Cool, a novel for tweens, was published – and has since been read by thousands of children around the world.
If you’re interested in fiction writing, consider enrolling in creative writing courses at your local community college, joining a community writer’s group through your local library and attending writer’s workshops and events hosted by writer’s associations in your region. You may find that your stories – inspired your experiences – could help you – and other people.
4. Use writing workbooks.
You may be among those people who are aren’t sure what to write about, or how to get started writing for healing, but recognize you experienced trauma and tough times in the past and need to do something about it…one day.
Well, one day is here, my friend.
Consider picking up one of the many healing workbooks that walk you through those experiences. I know several people who found workbooks for healing even more impactful than their therapy sessions. There is something about words on a paper, I tell ya! Fair warning, thinking and writing about traumatic experiences can be intense. No doubt about that! However, adult children of alcoholics and survivors of other types of trauma must recognize what happened deeply affected them. This is critical to recognizing what you need to do to get started in healing, and in knowing that you’ve had a completely normal reaction to what occurred.
“Recovering from Trauma Workbook” by Dr. Tian Dayton was helpful for me to recognize the trauma I had experienced as a girl, teenager and young adult. I had not realized until the writing exercises in that workbook that my trauma had continued into adulthood! That realization was particularly important to me identifying what changes I needed to make to my life in real time!
5. Write letters.
This is the option that people who are reluctant to write seem most willing to try, so I saved it for the end in case you’re still not convinced about the power of writing. 😊 Writing a letter to someone who hurt you – a father, mother, sibling, child, friend – whomever it is, could be very healing. You can write a letter to someone without any plans to actually send it to them. The letter could include everything you’ve wanted to say but couldn’t find the right opportunity or the courage to say it in person. The letter could also be about forgiveness. Also, sometimes, messages are simply best shared in writing anyway.
In 2017, I wrote a letter to my mother, explaining that I forgave her for all the ways her substance use disorder (addiction) hurt our family and me, and that I loved her, and that I would always have sadness in my heart that she could not/would not accept the help I tried to give her my whole life. Before giving her the letter, I called her, and those two actions were very hard for me. But now three years later, I know that letter was hugely impactful and extremely free-ing – a critical step in my journey! I HAD to forgive my parents, and then forgive myself so that I could move forward.
Whether or not writing for healing is for you, I wish you continued success in creating the life you want! Keep taking good care of you. It’s your only job in life.
p.s. If you’re just beginning your adult child of an alcoholic healing journey, here’s my recommended book list. Best wishes to you.
