There is so much written and spoken about the negative effects for kids who grew up in dysfunctional environments – kids with narcissistic parents, absent parents or parents with substance use disorders or mental health issues.
There are thousands of books written about the research findings. All of that is troubling but unsurprising.
Since I’ve been on this healing journey, I’ve been working on healing from adult child of an alcoholic syndrome and reprogramming my brain to think in healthier ways. This means I’ve spent a good chunk of my life thinking and talking about the negative effects of growing up in a dysfunctional environment. I’ve spent very little time talking about thinking about the good that has come from me being an adult child of an alcoholic.
Yes, it sounds a little crazy, but I believe some good qualities come from growing up in a dysfunctional environment. So today, let’s get positive.
Here are three good things that come from being an adult child of an alcoholic:
1. Compassion for others
When you’ve been through hell, you have a deeper level of compassion for fellow human beings. With this comes deeper understanding and motivation to help people avoid the experiences we have known in our lives.
In the worst of times copying with the effects of my mother’s alcoholism, I remember telling someone that I wouldn’t wish on anyone the pain of loving someone with addiction to anyone!
2. Adaptability to chaos
People from dysfunctional environments seem to handle chaos better than most people. Instability and unpredictability may have been the only predictable things in our lives. Chaos is like a familiar old blanket. While we crave control and order, we can handle chaos like pros.
3. Wisdom
We grew up fast. We were mini adults because we had to be. We saw pain and sufferings. We saw what we want and we don’t want. People who grew up in healthy family systems don’t have this kind of school-of-hard-knocks experience.
All of this written, I wish my mother didn’t have a substance use disorder. I wish my family didn’t have to go through all of that pain. I wish I wasn’t an adult child of an alcoholic. However, I believe in the power of positive thinking, and in bringing good to the world based on the experience.
I hope you are well in your journey and that you are actively building the life you want and deserve.
Gregor
How are you doing Jodie