I spend my time differently. I’m not into the same kind of things that most are, it seems. For most of my life, that made me feel not normal. As the child of an alcoholic, I always tried my best to be like everyone else and to spend my time the same way most people do. I was always worried about doing everything I could to be like everyone else. Over the last several years, on my journey to heal from tough times and to create an awesome grownup life, I have learned the importance of spending time doing what I like to do because it’s important to my ability to take good care of me.
On that topic:
I hope you are well in your journey.
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Jody Lamb is an author, blogger and adult child of an alcoholic on a journey to create an awesome grownup life. Visit JodyLamb.com. Twitter and Instagram: @JodyMLamb. YouTube: /JodyLamb. Facebook.com/JodyLambAuthor.Subscribe for free access to my newsletter:
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You know why you’re single. Sharing a life with someone means being there for them, through good times and bad – cancer, alcoholism, unemployment, etc. And you seem to have no plans for learning how to do that. As a result, you’re single and likely to remain so.
Thank you for your comment, “A.” Over my 35 years, I’ve been there for my loved ones through a lot of bad times. Substance use disorders (my mom and other family members), loss of my father (my mom and sister), unemployment (my dad), mental illness (my aunt), dementia (my grandmas), multiple heart attacks (my dad), the list goes on. When I was 21, I became the primary mother figure for my sister. I spent my 20s working (and emotionally and financially helping my parents) and bringing as much stability to my sister’s life as I could. I know more about being there for other people than I know how to take care of myself.
The main reason I’m single is that I’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else, there wasn’t enough time for myself and another person. As I’ve shared, I’m just getting rolling with taking care of me. But there is some truth to your comment: Perhaps on some level, I’ve feared that my codependent attraction to people who need me would land me in an unhealthy relationship or situation.
I’m just enjoying focusing on being better to myself than I ever have.
Jody Lamb recently posted…How to help someone who has an alcoholic parent or spouse